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Jesus Is NOT Coming BACK – Vatican Says

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Vatican

A SPOKESPERSON for the Vatican (Roman Catholic) officially announced that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.

Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth. “We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people
somewhere else.”

Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When
everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”

The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments. “Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”

The church said it will now focus attention on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.

In July 2016, the entertainment web site RealTimeNews.info published an article reporting that Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore had announced that the Vatican no longer believes that Jesus will return to the world:

While RealTimeNews.info does not carry a readily available disclaimer on its web site, the story quoted above is a carbon copy of an article published in 2014 by Waterford Whispers News, a web site that does label itself a satire publication:

“The publication is the fabrication of a mischievous and malicious person. The views stated in it do not come from any Cardinal in the Vatican,” he declared in a statement.

He said none of the 216 Cardinals bore the name Giorgio Salvadore and explained that there was, indeed, a Cardinal Salvatore de Giorgi, an Archbishop Emeritus of Palermo.

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Mugabe’s Son Bellarmine Mugabe Faces Sentencing in South Africa

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Bellarmine Mugabe

Bellarmine Mugabe is set to be sentenced in a South African court alongside his co-accused, Tobias Matonhodze, in a case that has drawn significant public attention due to its serious charges and high-profile connections.

Mugabe, the son of former Zimbabwean leader Robert Mugabe, pleaded guilty to being in South Africa illegally and to pointing a firearm. The firearm-related charge stems from a separate incident that reportedly occurred just weeks before a more widely reported shooting involving his security guard, Sipho Mahlangu, at his residence in Hyde Park.

While Mugabe admitted to the charges against him, the court also heard details surrounding the broader sequence of events that have intensified scrutiny on the case. The earlier firearm incident has raised questions about a pattern of behaviour leading up to the shooting of Mahlangu, which remains a central point of concern.

Co-accused Matonhodze faces a more extensive list of charges. He pleaded guilty to attempted murder, defeating the ends of justice, violating South Africa’s immigration laws, and possession of ammunition. His admissions place him at the centre of the most serious aspects of the case, particularly the attempted murder charge linked to the shooting incident.

In a key development presented in court, the investigating officer revealed that the victim, Sipho Mahlangu, has already received R250,000 in compensation, with a further R150,000 still outstanding. Despite this, the officer urged the court to impose a harsh sentence, arguing that both accused have failed to cooperate fully—particularly in revealing the whereabouts of the firearm used in the incident.

The missing weapon remains a critical issue in the case. Prosecutors maintain that the failure to recover the firearm points to a lack of accountability and reinforces the need for a custodial sentence. According to the state, the accused have shown little remorse, strengthening the argument for stricter punishment.

However, the defence has pushed back against these claims, telling the court that the firearm may have been removed by another individual. They argued that multiple people were present in the house at the time, raising the possibility that someone else could have taken the weapon, and therefore the accused cannot be solely blamed for its disappearance.

The defence has also continued to argue for a non-custodial sentence, citing the guilty pleas and compensation paid to the victim as mitigating factors. They are expected to emphasise cooperation and the avoidance of a lengthy trial as reasons for leniency.

The case has attracted widespread attention across the region, not only because of the individuals involved but also due to the seriousness of the charges and the broader implications around immigration violations and firearm-related offences in South Africa.

As sentencing looms, the court faces a critical decision that could set the tone for how similar high-profile cases are handled. Whether the judge opts for a harsh custodial sentence or a more lenient approach will likely have lasting implications, both legally and in the court of public opinion.

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Late Zambian president Edgar Lungu’s body reportedly removed after SAPS intervention

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Edgar Lungu

The body of former Zambian president Edgar Lungu has reportedly gone missing from a South African funeral facility following an intervention by the South African Police Service, sparking confusion and diplomatic concern.

According to emerging details, the late leader’s remains were being kept at a private mortuary in South Africa when police officials arrived and removed the body as part of an undisclosed operation. The development has raised urgent questions about the circumstances surrounding the removal and who currently has custody of the remains.

The incident comes amid an ongoing dispute between Lungu’s family and authorities over funeral arrangements. The family had previously expressed a strong preference for handling the burial process privately, including choosing the mortuary where the body would be kept, while officials have indicated that protocols linked to former heads of state must be followed.

The reported removal of the body has intensified tensions, with family representatives now demanding clarity on where the remains have been taken and under whose authority the action was carried out. Concerns have also been raised about whether proper procedures were followed during the operation.

Sources suggest the police intervention may be linked to legal or administrative processes, although no official confirmation has been provided on the exact reasons behind the move. Authorities have yet to issue a detailed public explanation, leaving room for speculation and growing public interest.

The situation has drawn attention both in South Africa and Zambia, where the passing of the former president has already been a matter of national significance. Any uncertainty surrounding his final arrangements is likely to carry both political and diplomatic implications.

Lungu, who served as Zambia’s president from 2015 to 2021, remains a prominent figure in the country’s recent political history. His death has prompted widespread reaction, and the handling of his remains is being closely watched by supporters, political figures, and regional observers.

As developments continue, the focus is now on establishing the facts around the removal of the body and ensuring that a resolution is reached between all parties involved. The matter is expected to involve further engagement between authorities, the family, and possibly diplomatic channels as efforts are made to resolve the situation and proceed with funeral arrangements.

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Lungu family demands return of former president’s body as dispute deepens in Zambia

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Late former President Edgar Lungu

The family of Zambia’s late former President Edgar Lungu has called for the return of his body, insisting that it be handed over to their chosen private mortuary service amid an escalating dispute with the state over funeral arrangements.

The request comes just a day after the Zambian government announced that it was in possession of Lungu’s mortal remains, a development that has added tension to an already sensitive and highly publicised matter.

While official details surrounding the handling and location of the former president’s body remain limited, the government’s statement confirmed that it had taken custody of the remains. This announcement prompted an immediate response from the Lungu family, who say they were not adequately consulted regarding key decisions following his passing.

The family has maintained that they should have full authority over the funeral arrangements, including where the body is kept and how it is prepared for burial. They have now demanded that the remains be transferred to a private mortuary of their choice, arguing that this is in line with their wishes and cultural practices.

The disagreement has exposed growing tensions between the former president’s relatives and state authorities over protocol, ownership of remains, and the role of government in managing the funerals of former heads of state. Such disputes, while rare, are not unprecedented in the region, where state funerals often involve both public and private family considerations.

Government officials have not yet provided detailed responses to the family’s latest demand, but earlier statements suggested that national procedures were being followed in accordance with protocol for former presidents. These procedures typically involve state oversight of funeral arrangements, including security, public ceremonies, and official burial plans.

The situation has sparked widespread public interest in Zambia, with many citizens following developments closely as questions arise over how the final arrangements will be handled. Former President Lungu, who served as Zambia’s head of state from 2015 to 2021, remains a significant political figure, and his passing has triggered national reflection as well as political debate.

Legal and governance experts in Zambia have noted that disputes of this nature often require careful negotiation to balance family rights with state obligations. The handling of a former head of state’s remains is typically guided by both legal frameworks and established national protocol, but cultural and family expectations can also play a central role.

As the standoff continues, attention is now focused on whether a compromise can be reached between the Lungu family and the government to ensure a dignified and coordinated funeral process. For now, uncertainty remains over where the former president’s body will be held and how final arrangements will proceed, as both sides maintain their positions.

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