We claim we love someone but do we really know what it means? It’s not just the word that counts or how many times you say you love someone but it the actions you do after you say you love someone. Love is a wonderful feeling if it’s mutual. But then I still have to ask, what is love?
I met Jack when I started my high school and hit it off as high school sweethearts. He kept telling me that he loved me and never wants to leave me and I believed every word he told me. Jack was a good guy and we grew together. We went to the same university and that’s when trouble started.
He always made an effort to tell me that he loves me every day and for that I was grateful. But then I later realised that he never understood the real meaning of the word love. Today I stand here alone, taking care of 2 kids on my own yet the man who claimed to love me is out there having fun with other ladies. So please someone answer me, what is love.
I thought love is caring and that love is the ability to make someone happy even in their saddest moment. But with Jack love was more like an easy way to get sex. At college things started to change, jack was always busy with this and that and he never got time for me. I never complained because he would always call me before his sleeps.
It didn’t take long for the stories to start coming out, I didn’t want to believe any of it and so I totally ignored all that. Jack seemed humble and caring so I always believed it when he said he loved me and I was blinded to the world as I didn’t want to stop loving him.
One day I finished my class early and decided to surprise him in his dorm room, I got there and tried to open the door and it was locked, I could hear people talking inside and funny sounds of sex. I tried knocking but no one answered the door so I just left and got to my dorm. After about an hour Jack called me:
Jack: how are you my number 1 girl?
Me: number 1? When I was at your dorm and you didn’t open the door?
Jack: I am so sorry I was asleep and didn’t hear a thing.
Me: and the sounds of sex that I heard?
Jack: sex? Aaah babes that must the porn I left on, you know you are my number 1 girl and I would never cheat on you. Plus you do know I love you right?
Me: you always say you love me but of late your actions do not show any love.
Jack: Sally please let’s not fight over nothing, every day I call you to tell you I love you, why don’t you believe me? Are you cheating on me or something?
Me: I believe you babes but I just feel neglected…and I am not cheating!
Jack: ok love I believe you…and I will make it up to you. I LOVE YOU today, I will LOVE YOU tomorrow and I will love you more every day.
With that I was happy again, I was blinded by a love that never existed so it seems now. Things went back to normal and we would hook up once in a while and spend time together. I never caught him cheating and so I believed every word he told me. In my third and final year of university I got pregnant with twins and Jack assured me that everything will be fine.
We agreed that we would get married as soon as we are settled, he even came and explained his situation to my parents and they understood. I finished school and graduated but Jack still had another year in school as he had a 4 year course.
He would visit me on weekends and we would spend time together. I gave birth to two boys and was a proud mother. Jack didn’t seem too pleased when he came to see the kids, he just said ooh and left. He didn’t even bother to hold them.
That was the last day I saw or heard from Jack, he stopped his late night calling and totally ignored us. Now it’s been 1 year since the kids were born and here I am taking care of them alone. I keep asking myself, “What did I ever do wrong?”
I am happy though that my boys are growing up and thanks to my parents I managed to pull through. Now I am working and taking care of my handsome boys. But still I have no one to answer my question, what is love? If you guys understand it better please help me understand it also.
I keep praying and hoping for the best but I know I will never take him back! He had his chance and he blew it. To all the people out there I say, if they say they love you check if their actions show the real meaning of love otherwise they are just 3 little words.. thanks