To a woman love is like a stove, once switched on it takes long to cool down but to a man love is like a light bulb it switches off instantly. I say this because I was dating this man who seemed fantastic in every way but not anymore. That means that now I am in love with a married man.
We met about 6 years ago and this wonderful man asked me out and I accepted. We were in love instantly and day by day our love grew. We were having fun and going to all sorts of places. What seemed odd though was the fact that he didn’t want me to meet any of his family.
Lots of times I invited him to my house to meet my parents but he said no and that he was not ready for that. I just ignored the whole thing and we were back to normal, we were now together for 4 years and I was hoping by the 5th year he would propose. I just had a feeling that we would spend the rest of our lives together, but I was wrong.
Things started changing when we were a month away from our 5th year anniversary, he just changed and stopped caring. I asked what was wrong and he said he was OK but I didn’t believe it. I kept on asking him through text messages but he never replied. I tried calling but he was not answering. I even went to look for him at his house but I was told he wasn’t there. I gave up looking for him and just drowned in my sorrows.
A month passed by and I didn’t hear from him, once in a while I would try to call him but I kept getting voice mail so I gave up that too. One day I was doing my shopping in a local supermarket when I saw him, I went up to him and tried to speak to him but he ignored me and acted as if he didn’t know me. He totally ignored me as I tried to say something a lady appeared and asked who I was, he just said mistaken identity and they went off.
I noticed however that he was wearing a wedding ring. I cried myself to sleep and thought of a plan of confrontation. In the morning I went to his house and put a picture of him and me in his letter box to help him remember who I was. A few hours later he called me
Joe: Jocy! Why were you at my house?
Jocy: I was looking for the man I love or rather loved and now I hate so much
Joe: please don’t call me, don’t come to my house and never look for me. If you meet me anywhere never talk to me, it’s over, and it was over when I stopped calling you.
Jocy: over?! And you wait 5 months to tell me that, are you that cruel? I thought you loved me.
Joe: love you? You must be crazy!
Jocy: but you always said you loved me and you even promised to marry me, did I do something wrong?
Joe: you did nothing wrong just that my wife is back in town and our little fling is over.
Jocy: you call 5 years a fling? Then they must be something wrong with you!
I said that and I cut the phone and started crying, it turns out he is married, he was always married but I never saw it. He promised me the moon and I believed him, he promised me happiness and now I am sad. I am stuck here in a place of sorrow and sadness, all because I am in love with a married man who lied to me and hurt me. I can’t switched off this love that I feel for him, I hate him so much for what he did to me but another part of me still loves him.
I am taking one day at a time and am trying to heal but I know it will take long. It’s been 1 year since he left me and I feel like I will never love anyone again. Or maybe it will take a long time, I do miss him though. He hurt me but he also taught me to be strong and now I believe in myself and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
I also learnt that life is not always about fairy tales and that bad things happen to good people. That is life for you. We just have to hope for the best.