Rupert Friend, Zachary Quinto and Ciarán Hinds – on the face it, a fine cast for any film. But a fine cast can only do so much with a script that has more deaths per minute than dialogue. And there’s an impressive body count here that would make for a very dangerous drinking game.
Based on the Hitman video game series, this version was written by Skip Woods. He wrote the original 2007 adaptation, and his CV includes A Good Day to Die Hard. Both of those films were panned by critics.
True to form, the unholy trinity of relentless violence, incoherent plot, and inane dialogue are there from start to finish in Hitman: Agent 47.
The film starts with Zachary Quinto’s character John Smith tracking a woman (Hannah Ware) who has only the vaguest notion of who she’s searching for in Berlin – no name, no face, no reason and little else to go on – until a deadly assassin in a black suit (Friend with a shaved head and enough weaponry to satisfy an army of Travis Bickles) turns up and starts killing anyone in his way, as he seeks out the girl.
It turns out that she’s Katia van Dees, and her father created genetically-modified killers such as Agent 47, the guy who’s after her. Without any explanation she suddenly knows that her father’s based in Singapore, so the violence and trail of death continues over there.
Taken purely as a brainless action movie, it looks pretty good and doesn’t tax the brain. But being about as good as GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra hardly merits anything other than a snort of contempt.
No doubt, many millions will pay good money to watch this. But it won’t be on my recommendation.